Last night I kinda sucked at the mom thing.
My food loving daughter was stuffing her cheeks full of chicken and peas until she was practically overflowing then proceeded to throw a fit because I wouldn’t give her more. When I realized her mouth was so full that she couldn’t even chew, with her whopping seven teeth, I knew it was time to take some out of her mouth. I stuck my fingers in there and dug some chicken out, and in the process, unknowingly pushing the remainder of her meal to the back of her mouth. She proceeded to gag and throw up all over herself. Multiple times. At the dinner table.
#fail
After her bath, which she hated, we were playing before bed and she got ahold of a quarter. I commented to my husband how great she is about not putting things in her mouth…. And as soon as the words came out of my mouth, it happened in slow motion- she lifted the quarter toward her face, opened her mouth, and started in… as both my husband and I yelled “nooooooooo” running toward her. Luckily we were able to intervene before crisis hit, however our panic caused her to burst into tears.
#fail
I went to bed apologizing to my husband for causing two near choking incidents in a matter of about two hours.
Sometimes I really have no idea what I’m doing. Usually, actually. Who decided I could care for a tiny human being?
But today I got home from work and as I was washing my hands, she said “mama mama mama” right to me, which she never does. And as I put her to bed tonight, she gave me a big hug and patted my back in the loving way I’ve patted hers since she was born. And I melted.
I have no idea what I’m doing. But neither does she. And we just love each other, every day, no matter what. I know I will continue to mess up and make mistakes and feel guilty and question my parenting ability. But if she learns to love and care for others, maybe that’s the best thing I can do for her.
Other than keep her from choking…
