I got my face stuck.
While on a road trip, my toddler dropped her toy for the millionth time and one of my many duties as head passenger was to assist and attempt to stave off a tantrum. Of course, she dropped it on the side of her car seat by the door, furthest from me. I unbuckled (unsafe, I know I know), climbed over the console, and craned my neck behind her seat as far as I could go to finally retrieve said toy. However, I couldn’t get out. My face was literally stuck between the car seat and the back of my husband’s headrest.
Oh isn’t this perfect…
Stuck between my child and my husband.
#toddlermom anyone?
Sometimes I feel like I’m nailing this mom thing. I mean other than struggling to balance work and home and momming, letting her eat things off the floor, not giving her daily baths, responding too many times to her attempts to deflect bedtime, not giving her a properly structured day full of educational activities, and not providing fully organic sustainable balanced meals… Other than all that, I’m doing OK.
But then, as I violently yank my face out of the wedge it’s jammed in, I realize what a metaphor this is. I’m stuck between my toddler and my husband. Literally and figuratively. The lack of date nights, the conversational focus on potty and snacks and naptimes, the imbalanced schedules and uneven responsibilities have taken a toll. I have no idea how to give everyone what they need.
And suddenly I’ve gone from nailing to failing.
Ugh.
So what is the secret?
I hope you aren’t waiting with bated breath for me to reveal it, because I have absolutely no idea. Do you?
I read the articles and listen to the podcasts and look at the posts, and they all say the same “self-care”, “date your husband”, “spend time with friends”, “talk about things other than the kids”, etc.
But what exactly is self-care and where exactly do I sign up? Who’s watching my kid on date nights and how often am I allowed to ask? What about us working moms who only get nights and weekends with our kids, when exactly are we supposed to schedule all this fun time? Does anyone actually have friends that are easy to connect with? Or is it the perpetual “let’s get together sometime” … 6 months later “we really need to get together!”? And if we can’t talk about the all-consuming children, what else is there to even talk about anymore? Is anyone else exhausted?!
But my daughter turns my head and whispers in my ear “You’re perfect”, “You’re wonderful”, and “You’re so pretty”. My husband swears he still loves me and makes my coffee every morning and tries everything he can think of to ease my burdens. So as my face still hurts and my jawline is tender, my head tries to convince my heart that maybe some things are still going right…